Things are changing
I feel a sense of clarity today that I haven’t had in a really long time. This summer has been a roller coaster and I’m glad that I have made it through. I can sense change coming and I’m ready to embrace it and allow it to take me where I need to be.
I have two years of school left and then I’ll be unceremoniously dropped into the “real world”. I’m terrified to tell the truth. Two years is a short time to find out who I am and what I’m going to do for the world and for my life.
Two years is no time at all. I feel like I have nothing figured out yet, like I’m putting together a puzzle that’s missing some very important pieces.
But I’m optimistic. I have a passion and determination that has carried me through everything that has happened so far in my life. I WILL be what I want to be, work in the field that I want to work in. If I want to make a difference, change the way that society thinks and feels, provide happiness to someone whether it be platonically or romantically or purely professional— I damn well will.
Life has tried, as I’m sure for everyone, to pull me down quite a few times. I give it a few days of my attention, I let it permeate my entire body and attitude and I transform into a person who is down, negative, in the dumps. But only for a few days, only a few days grace.
Then I spring back, ten times stronger than before, ten times more determined to meet my goals. So here I go, another year is starting and things are changing.
Independence is a funny thing.
It’s time to focus on me again, to focus on school and all of the positive things I’m doing. It’s time to put my head down and work until my body aches, my bones are weary, and I’m too tired to move and then it’s time to work even more.
This summer I’ve learned that I’ve rediscovered a passion for me. By that I mean a passion for my body and what it can do, they way that I look, the happiness and contentment that I feel for the person I am and the person I’m becoming.
I’m excited that I’m this person. I’m proud that I have gotten this far and the only thing I feel now is an anxiousness to meet whatever other challenges are going to be thrown my way.
Thanks to all of you who truly are on my side, and to those that are coming into my life in any near future, I’m ready for you.
